Dear Diary

je t’aime encore

I am still in love with my ex.
I was the one to breakup with him.
Everyone thinks that I am over it now.
But I am not.
The reason why I broke with him is that he stopped loving me and stopped showing it.
I felt unwanted.
No one can never understood how hard and painful it was to broke with the person whom I loved with all my heart.
I respect him a lot.
He was not only a love, he was my motivation to grow and still his words are playing a role of my motivation in writings, and to nurture myself.
He was the one who taught me to love myself first before him.
I was blessed to have him in my life.
He showed me a path of peace and hope.
He enlightened my dark heart with the light of his love and understanding.
But I realized now he don’t want me anymore.
For him I am playing a role of burden now.
He is a falcon and I am still learning how to fly.
He came for a purpose in my life to teach me how beautiful life is which I was not be able to see before.
Now he started avoiding me without any reason.
Every passing day was like a year without his messages, his call.
So I thought if I do breakup, it would hurt less.
But it was not easy, I just want him to be happy.
He didn’t take the breakup well and responded nothing.
My heart was lying into pieces on the ground of trust.
I was dealing with depression, lack of appetite, sleep less nights, gluing my eyes whole day and night over on his profile hoping for single text from him.
But he never turned up.
He is a fire and I am a water, two opposite people.
I still love him a lot, I still feel him by my side whenever I am puzzled while writing, whenever I am in delimma to deal with any situation, whenever I am sad or Happy.
He is still with me walking every step holding my hand tightly.
Because I made him immortal in my words, in my writings.
He had my whole heart and even after we broke up.
I can’t give my love to anyone else.
But he doesn’t deserve it so ,why can’t just get over it.
Why can’t I just move on.
Not now but one day definitely you are going to miss my boaring texts, my silly questions.
You will miss my fights, my mood swings.
My arguments, my possessiveness and insecurities.
The most of all you will miss the way I cared for you.
But now I am done.
I don’t want to hold any illusions of us together anymore, let it go.
I want to walk alone over on the path which you showed to me.
I will grow the way you expected from me but not for you this time, I want it for myself now.
I am going to rise like a king not a Queen of my own kingdom.
Good bye love, still one thing will always going to remain in my mind that what wrong I did to you that you said nothing and decided not to talk to me anymore.
I am moving on by recalling all your powerful words which you said to me, I locked them in my heart forever.
I love you but don’t want to hold any positive sign of your return back to me anymore.
I waited for you so long but it’s time to go.
I miss you and will going to miss you every single day because you are the most beautiful memory of my life.
I know you will always going to be my side in my heart, shadow never leaves you and you are my shadow.
Thank you for trusting over on me, little but yes thankyou.
Good bye….

36 Comments

    1. Hello Lovely! I congratulate you on moving forward with your life. You are remarkable. Life is too short; the Bible describes it like a vapour! ( James 4:14). Continue to be strong and courageous! Seek God and His promises to you. He has promised you abundant life. Go for it girl . Life is too short!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much Marilyn for your beautiful, blessed compliment. Yes I agree with you life is too short to live happily. I totally believe that God is always guiding me, he is there. Lots of love to you. God bless you too.💛💛

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    1. Yes, I did it and I wrote about the days through which I was going but currently I am totally fine and enjoying my life like I always wanted. Hope and positivity is always alive in my heart with God grace. Thank you for your beautiful and kind words and encouragement.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello Ritika. If you have a Facebook account and are interested in joining my writing group called WRITE HERE, please let me know and I will send you an invitation. We would be happy to have you as a member. I can only invite you if you are on Facebook.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you so much for this Nancy. Yes I have Facebook account but currently it’s deactivated. I would love to join it. Let me reactivate it and I will send you the account detail. Thank you so much once again for considering me. God bless you.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I just changed the setting from private to public. You should be able to see WRITE HERE on Facebook now

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  1. Certainly, Take all the time you need. We’re always looking to expand our group and gladly welcome new writers on WRITE HERE. Bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Sister Ritika. With your next encounter with a new companion, stay strong, independent, routed in the Word and remember to put your TRUST in the Lord. Keep your ears and heart open and listen for the same endearing thoughts and words you recite to him given back to you. Do not dismiss the inner voice of the Holy Spirit. If He shouts “Run”, don’t argue with Him. After reading your blog, you appear to be a young women who wears her feelings on her sleeve. Scripture orders us to guard our heart. So be forewarned. Thanks for reading and your ‘like’ on my blog post. Be blessed.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your beautiful blessings. It means a lot. Your words are really powerful and encouraging. Hope for true love is always alive in my heart and I am now living my life beautiful fulfilling my dreams. Always bless me. Lots of love and blessings to you. God bless you always 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s really good. Couldn’t tell if it’s poetry alone or a personal experience. One thing I felt while reading it is that we should never think that we need someone else to complete us. In other words, don’t allow someone else to control your happiness. You are da bomb dot com. You don’t need anybody else to be YOU! God bless.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for giving your precious feedback. It’s somehow one of the real incident of my life through which I went in the past and yes I definitely agree with you that you are enough. You are precious and no one have rights to rule over on your emotions and feelings, to play with your love. You are beautiful.

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  4. Love always has the possible consequence of being rejected. Jesus is the only one you can guarantee will never reject your Love with 100% certainty. Praying for you.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Ritika – yes Jesus is all you will ever need. It’s so hard breaking up, I feel for you and am praying you are feeling stronger now. Imagine you have a beautiful little girl and she’s playing with friends but you see it is bound to end up with her being hurt, so you pick her up and move away. That’s how God is dealing with you, he sees the whole picture and is protecting you. When we regard the sovereignty of God we feel able to rejoice in his will moving in our lives because of his immense love for us, so in the end, we can actually thank him – for the breakup. It hurts, I know, gosh I know – I’m quite an ol gal now so have had many tough experiences. Keep your heart for God and he will give you the right one. Also, satan likes to keep us down so keeps reminding us of our feelings and tries to coerce us to dream of that person until we feel constantly sad and down. Send him packing and trust God, who orchestrates everything in our lives for your good. Romans 8:28 He causes all things to work together for good to those who love God.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Dear beautiful soul for understanding me and encouraging me. It means a lot. Yes I totally agree with you that Almighty is a giver and healer too. At last he is the one who will always serve justice. Everything happens for a reason. In starting we feel sad, it hurts but when time passes we learn the Truth that we deserve better, best. God test our patience but when we are lacking to be patience he is the only one to hold us. Lots of love and blessings. God bless you.

      Liked by 1 person

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